Sunday, December 06, 2015

The Whisky Yule Log

The Yule Log was a Christmas Eve broadcast by a New York City television station: a two hour continuously looped video of a yule log burning in a fireplace. Accompanied with Christmas music, that was the program's entire content. The station aired it every Christmas from 1966 to 1989.

Now, Diageo (an England-based alcoholic beverage company), owner of Lagavulin scotch whisky, has produced a follow-up.

For 45 minutes, “Parks and Recreation” actor Nick Offerman sits next to a fireplace and sips a Lagavulin. Neat, naturally. He moves the glass. He looks at the camera. He pours another dram and sips. That's it; that's all. Is anything else needed?

One commenter at YouTube offered this play-by-play of the riveting action:

  • 3:10
    Lifts his glass, looks at it for a second or two, and takes a sip. It is apparently very good.
  • 5:44
    Elegantly slides his hand to the side of the glass. Perhaps to take a sip? No. He patiently waits. Like a gentleman.
  • 10:25
    This time, he looks at the glass THEN lifts it to take a sip. He is truly a master of his art. Yet again, it is delicious.
  • 12:44
    After some contemplation, the glass is moved to the knee as if to suggest a sense of sexual tension. It's working.
  • 15:13
    The glass is moved back to the armrest perhaps to suggest that you have no game with this man. Clearly the knee was just a tease.
  • 20:27
    Yet another look then lift. His technique is clearly spot on... But wait. He has finished the glass! What will he do?! Is this the end of the Yule Log special?! NO! He sets the glass on the table and pours himself some more! Such class and grace can only come from one such as WHAT IS THIS?!? HE HAS CROSSED HIS LEGS? MY GOD. No words can be properly recited for something such as this. Carry on fellow viewers... I need a moment...
  • 23:46
    After a few minutes to let us calm down he teases yet again by looking at his glass as if to take a sip. But he does not. Crafty, Mr. Offerman. Very crafty indeed.
  • 28:22
    Yes, after the tease of last time he lifts the glass again to... Oh Mr. Offerman you sly dog, you. Yet another tease. Bravo.
  • 30:14
    Is he?... An inspection of the glass, a long smell of the aroma, long contemplation aaannnnnddd... Another sip! Good show Mr. Offerman! Good show! applauds
  • 36:15
    I believe we have a repeat performance here of 30:14. Less thrilling this time around but still a great performance nonetheless.
  • 38:32
    Ah an itch just behind the right ear. Nothing much to say here real- HE'S TAKEN A SIP. I nearly missed that one because of the distracting itch! And here I thought you had shown us your entire bag of tricks Mr. Offerman. applauds again
  • 41:07
    Haha, very good. A return to form with a classic sip and nothing more. A move worthy of an Oscar.
  • 44:33
    With one last sip he finishes off the glass and makes his way off camera. Truly, truly one of the greatest performances I have seen all year. Absolutely outstanding. Gives a standing ovation.

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